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February 27, 2008
A year ago I was happily married and having sex on a daily basis. (ok maybe not completely happily but married) Not only did I have sex with my husband, but also with Logan sometimes, and others on rare occasions. I’ll tell more of those stories at some point. But right now the reason for bringing this up is I haven’t been in a really sexual relationship for a long time. Jonathan and I only had sex one time. Logan and I only see each other about once a month now. My sexual life has changed dramatically in the past year.
I’ve written about the fact that I feel like I’m not ready to start a new relationship at the moment. I’m sticking to that vow but sexually speaking it’s hard. I spend four days a week on a college campus. It’s pretty much inevitable in that environment to have some attraction happening. Oh, it’s happening!
There’s this guy in two of my classes. As far as I can tell, he fits Marissa’s Prescription for the Perfect Man talked about here. He’s just so damn cute! Not to mention sweet and intelligent. I could just eat him up. Yum!
I found out last night that he has a girlfriend, sadly. A fellow classmate told me this. But…he keeps flirting with me in very subtle ways. As I’ve said before, I can read men quite well. He’ll say something and my ears prick up like a cat hearing the tiny sound of mouse in the wall. My lip curls into a wicked smirk. Last night I recognized my sexual side rearing it’s ugly head. I saw him and it was like looking at prey. I wanted to growl, purr, pounce. It’s really not sex I crave as much as touch, and kissing, though. I don’t care if I ever have sex with him but I feel a deep hungry desire to throw him up against the wall, press my body into his and kiss him, my hungry tongue licking his perfect lips.
I’ve decided I’m going to allow myself this bit of fantasy. He’s a safe target if he’s already attached and I know he’s off limits. I can have all the sex, or kissing, I want with him, in my dirty little mind and he doesn’t ever need to know I’m stalking him.
Mmm…
Just me…Marissa (maneater)
