June 17, 2008
I have to apologize to all my readers and fellow blogging friends. Life got mentally difficult for me and I just didn’t know what to say about anything here. I still don’t know where I’m going with this blog anymore but in the interest of figuring it out…here are some thoughts.
My reviewers mentioned that I write about only my sexual experiences. I have to disagree to some degree. Yes, there is sex involved in a lot of my posts but it isn’t about sex. It’s about a journey into me. It’s about my finding out who I am through relationship experiences. Sex is a huge part of life. Since this blog is in the form of a journal, I write it as I wrote my journals long ago, focusing on the spectacle in my life, the very very good and very very bad times. Sex is right up there on both counts. It hits you in the core. When you open up to someone sexually, you learn a lot about you. So I’m arguing that my sexual journey IS my personal, emotional journey.
I’m dealing with a lot of those issues now. Who am I emotionally, sexually? How do I exist alone? With someone else? How do I choose partners? How can I choose better partners?
Brody and I have had limited contact for the last few weeks. My questions have grown. I’ll write more about it later after I peruse what I already wrote about him. My mind is a mess.
Question for all of you…what are your thoughts on May/December romance? What’s good about it? Does it always have to end badly? Just tell me any thought you have on the topic. I’m struggling right now and in need of some clear headed ideas.
That’s all for now.
Just me…Marissa
4 comments
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June 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm
dharcy
Marissa,
I’m a little bit younger than you so it hasn’t been quite possible for me to meet and fall for someone where the age gap is a decade or more (since then I’d be chasing after like 16-year-olds haha!) but I’ve experienced age gaps none the less. R is 5 years younger than me, which, perhaps, doesn’t seem like lightyears between us. Nonetheless is he young, both mentally and emotionally so issues occurs at times that maybe wouldn’t have had to happen if he was older or I was younger.
We react and move in different directions at times, but as I’ve told him, I think we just have to learn to live with the differences and if he wants me maybe he’ll have to raise his mental and emotional level at times as I have to hold back and take a step down at times as well in order to meet half ways.
I think the most important thing is to accept the difference and most important the difference we’ve had experience wise. If we do and take and accept eachother as we are, nothing is impossible. And hey, age is just a number, At least that’s something I’ve learned.
I’ll stop this rant now, sorry for the long comment
Glad to see you back, hope you’re taking care.
xx
dharcy.
June 18, 2008 at 9:25 am
heatherdyan
marissa,
i’m glad to see you back. i understand how difficult it can be to write when things in your life are in a state of upheaval.
i had a may-december relationship that lasted for almost 2 years, although it was the opposite situation of you and brody — i was 18 and he was 32. i liked the fact that he was established and had a successful career. he had great stories about life and loved seeing things through my young eyes. ultimately, though, life led us apart. i left the state to attend college and i eventually met someone my own age.
i think that the 20s are difficult years for relationships. in my experience, that’s the time that we develop our identity as independents and through that discovery, we start to understand what we want out of other people, in relationships, in life. it’s a time of necessary selfishness and i think relationships pay the price. looking back, now that i’m in my 30s, this was the case for me and many of my friends.
i’m still waiting to meet the right person for me. aren’t we all?
hang in there,
heather
June 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Plays In Dirt
I don’t have much to say that might help. As you know, my lover was 14 years older than me and I loved that. I felt safe with him, like he had a measure of control. He held the responsiblity and that made me able to just be free and let him lead. Not to throw the gender thing in, but perhaps it is hard for a man to “follow” in a relationship and realistically, lack of life experience puts someone in a “lesser” position to you… just that they are in a far different place. Read: http://playsindirt1.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=140
It is a small look into how I felt about being the younger in the relationship.
Good luck Hun,
Terra
July 15, 2008 at 12:59 pm
justobserving
I see you haven’t visited back in a bit…………..I feel you give every relationship way too much thought. Maybe it’s time you just let whatever is supposed to happen, happen. Stop analizing everything so much. If you are content in a relationship, stop second guessing it. Relationships are not all about drama, and sometimes I feel it’s what you do, almost like at times you want the drama….the attention the drama brings. I often see this blog like “Sex in the City” Carrie Bradshaw….nothing is ever simple…….everything has some drama attached to it…….life is NOT about that. It is about living and enjoying every minute we have on this earth!
Good luck in you search finding what is right for you……..I think you really need it