October 22, 2007
It’s been a month since I’ve seen Logan and so much has happened since then. He’s still in me, still in my heart, but I don’t cry for him anymore. I don’t hope for him anymore. In fact, I hope he never changes his mind, at least not for awhile. If he did, I’m not sure what I’d do at this point. I know I said a couple of days ago that I’d run right into his arms and never look back but that seems ages ago.
I’m slowly getting over him.
Jonathan.
He’s changed so much for me. I don’t have to beg him. I don’t have to cry. He’s here…he wants to be here…I want him to be here. We…us…we’re good together. He fills me with warm, tingly bubbles of pure joy. I’ve smiled more in the last week than in the last year.
Uncanny…fantastic…marvelous…
My Jonathan.
I needed him and he came.
Funny how life is like that…when you are at your lowest point someone reaches out and pulls you back up to standing.
I was crawling, begging, almost ready to lay down and die.
All over…done.
No more love.
What’s life without love?
Now, I see a reason to stand up again. I’m inspired, poetic, joyful.
He said to me last night, “I want to make your heart jump.”
“Ok.”
“This will be a little cryptic. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“It’s too early to say what I feel right now.”
Oh so not cryptic…so clear…so oh my!
Translation: “It’s too early to say [I love you but that's] what I feel right now.”
Read between the lines.
My heart jumped. Rushed blood to my brain. I felt dizzy. Dizzy and incredible! I wanted to throw my arms around him, hug him, kiss him. He was there and I was here. Apart, separate, longing. He’s poetry to me and I write. I write. We write. The story of us.
Bubbles
Bubbles
floating
finding their way
lazily
through my veins
popping
pouring
oozing
sticky bubbles
of joy
of something
of love?
You bubble up in me
pour into me
fill me
till my veins are overflowing
pulsing
throbbing
roaring.
I want to
flow into you.
Bubbles.
8 comments
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October 22, 2007 at 12:51 pm
justobserving
Maybe it’s not all that cryptic……..maybe it simply means what he says, “It’s too early to say what I feel right now.” maybe you have read too much into it, hoping what he means is “It’s too early to say [I love you but that’s] what I feel right now.”
Is it possible it just means he’s not really sure at this point how he feels??? maybe that is what he meant by “cryptic”
Maybe you are over reading his statement??? Wanting that to be what he meant?
I could be wrong, but I am
Just Observing
October 22, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Marissa
His next line was…”I told you I fall too fast.”
I think I read it right…;)
October 22, 2007 at 2:12 pm
justobserving
So, if he falls too fast, what makes you think the next girl he meets that “sparks an interest” in him, will not make him “fall fast”
You have failed to explain yet to all of us, how one falls out of love with someone as the two have you seemed to have done with your spouses?
Just Observing
October 22, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Marissa
In order to fall out of love…you first have to fall in. I think that was both of our problems from the start. We married young and for the wrong reasons. I have touched on that a bit in a few posts. More will be added as I continue to write.
The falling fast…we have both talked about long ago past relationships and how when we find someone that feels right, it doesn’t take long to get caught up in it.
Certainly, he or I could fall for someone else. There are no guarantees in life. Forever is a variable. My life has taught me to enjoy the good times and the people that bring joy to my life because I have no idea how long my forever will be.
October 24, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Dharcy
I’m happy you’re experiencing and feeling this right now, it feels uplifting and inspiring to read; and I’m so happy you met someone able to make you feel like this right now. Enjoy it and let yourself be swept off your feet. We deserve to let loose and just go along with such wonderful feelings when we’re lucky to feel it.
Much love as always,
Dharcy.
October 24, 2007 at 11:20 pm
drunk american
just observing – i think there was more to be read in the message, especially when he prefaced the statement by saying he wanted to make her heart jump and that it would be a bit cryptic. so much of our emotions are based on perceptions and what one intuits that over analysis would stifle the magic that is love… and the wonderment of falling in love.
marissa – bubbles in the vein is a very serious medical condition. better get checked out by a doctor… but glad to hear the symptoms seem agreeable with you!
October 25, 2007 at 11:02 am
Marissa
DA – So glad to see you…you’ve been awol around here lately and missed. You are so right…if I had read it the way just observing did then it woudn’t have been cryptic. Btw…I did read it right and he confirmed that for me yesterday…*sigh* This is good. Blue skies and blue eyes today…ahh.
October 25, 2007 at 11:04 am
Marissa
Dharcy – I am just drowning is such a good way! Good to see you. I’ll be writing more this weekend. I got caught up in things for the past few days and haven’t been able to post. Hope you’re doing well.
Much love,
Marissa