October 14, 2007

I’ve been very depressed lately. I don’t know if it’s lacking love or lacking sex. I haven’t been able to eat much and when I do I feel sick. I’ve lost a few more pounds. This isn’t good for me. I’m down to 113. I haven’t been this thin in fifteen years. I needed someone to bring me to life again and I sure feel alive after friday night!

I think I have a very masculine mind when it comes to sex. I have a strong sexual desire, a need really. I don’t fall in love with every man, or woman, I have sex with. It’s not always emotional. Sometimes it’s just animal.

Friday night was one of those animal times.

I have had an online chat friend for over a year that I have never met. She doesn’t live that far from me. The reason we never met was because her and her husband often meet play friends alone and my husband didn’t like that idea. So we chatted. She became something of a confidant. I know a lot of things about her sex life, a lot of certain preferences they each have. Some they share but some likes he has, she doesn’t and vice versa. I think that’s pretty typical as a couple. We discovered together that I like some of the things her husband does and she doesn’t. Hmm…

She had invited me to go to a Halloween party with them. Now that I am separated I can make my own decisions and so I met her one day this week before the party. We just talked, a very vanilla meeting. We liked each other and felt comfortable so I agreed to go to the party with her and her husband. I had never met him or even seen a picture. I didn’t know if I’d like him but I knew I liked her so I went. If I didn’t like him then she and I could still be friends and/or play partners since playing together isn’t a requirement for them.

He’s hot! I mean not just your average hot guy but a guy that makes you go…

D~A~Y~U~M! She’s a lucky girl!

The Halloween party was a swingers’ party. The purpose was just to meet people and dance/drink/socialize. It was held at a regular bar that closed down for the night for us. It wasn’t at a swing club so there wasn’t supposed to be any sexual activity going on at the bar. Rules are made to be broken right?

We had dinner, and a few drinks. Then we just sat and talked with some of the other people. It was ok, not the most attractive bunch of people but the swinging community is like that. There are all kinds of people, size, shape, age and attitude that swing. There are people into all kinds of freaky sexual things, too. No matter how attracted you are, you have to really talk to someone before you play with them. They may totally not be compatible with what you like.

I’d already had those conversations with my friend. We knew what we liked, and what her husband liked. We knew we had compatible sexual tastes.

Like I said before, they play alone often and the party was no different. They socialize alone a lot, too. He went and talked with some other people while she and I talked and met a few people, too. After awhile he came back and stayed with us. He didn’t find many women he was interested in. People kept telling him he came with the two hottest girls there. I can’t speak for myself but his wife is very attractive. I totally agreed with them about her. She’s not the only one lucky enough to have a hot spouse, he is too!

They started playing dance music late in the evening after everyone was done singing Karaoke. I was glad that was over! He and I were sitting together. He’d been kissing me for some time and had his hand up my skirt. When a good song came on I turned around and straddled him in the chair.

“Oh, a lapdance, alright!”

We were “dancing” in the chair for awhile. He was running his hand up and down my legs. I have really long legs and he is a leg man, couldn’t get enough. I told him I could put them up around his neck.

“Really?”

“Uh huh. I’ve done it before. I’m very flexible.”

“My wife has back problems and can’t do stuff like that.”

“I know. She told me that. Maybe that’s why she thought you’d like me. I can do things for you that she can’t.”

“Let’s see if you really can.”

So I did. He was giggling like a little school girl.

“Oh yeah! That’s hot.”

While my legs were up around his neck, I bent backwards and my head was nearly on the floor while we were still “dancing” in the chair.

His wife was enjoying the show.

She said, “I wish I could do that but my back would be killing me the next day.”

I righted myself and was just sitting on his lap again, feet on the floor. She left to go to the restroom and he drug me out on the dancefloor. Eminem’s Shake That was playing. He’s not a huge guy but he’s very strong and he picked me up while we were dancing. I love it when a guy does that. I bent over backwards again while he was holding me up and grinding to the music.

By the time we got back to our chair I was so horny I couldn’t stand it. I sat on his lap sideways. He slid his hand up my skirt again. The music was loud. No one could hear me moaning. I put my mouth right by his ear so he could hear what he was doing to me.

“You’re gonna make me cum.”

And he did…but I wanted more. We went to find his wife. She was busy with another woman and said we could do whatever we wanted, so we went out to his truck to be alone. It had been three weeks since I had sex. I was wanting it bad. He was too.

“It feels so good to have someone touch me. Thank you.”

“Oh no…thank you.”

He told me his truck was a virgin. He’d not had sex in it yet. We fixed that. We were both so worked up from the hours of foreplay in the club that it only took about fifteen minutes for both of us to get off. It was fast and animal.

We went back in to find her after. She was ready to go and so were we. She said he can meet with me again but only after she and I get some “girl time” first. I certainly don’t mind that requirement!

I’ve used my vibrator about eight times since friday night. When I have sex it just makes me want more…and more. Not only is my sexual appetite back but so is my appetite for food. I’ve eaten more in the last two days than in the last week. I think that’s a combination of things.

Having men show interest in me as a person feels good. After the breakfast date I had and kissing my friend on campus, I can see that maybe there is someone other than Logan for me. At least I can see possibilities and that feels good. Both of those men are possible relationship material. They’re both intelligent and kind. They both like me for more than just my body. That’s more important than good sex but…

The other thing is sex…when I’m sexually satisfied I feel better in all kinds of ways. Sex isn’t always just sex, its therapy sometimes. When you are feeling alone and unwanted it wears on the mind. Having someone crave your body and satisfy you sexually can be really fulfilling. It’s nice to have friends that will help a girl out!

By the way, my friend’s husband was dressed as a doctor for the Halloween party. She was a nurse. I’ll have to give them a call sometime soon.

Is the Dr. in? I’m feeling a bit down…

Just me…Marissa

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